Quote of the Day

Today as DD and I were walking out of her brothers' school, that she so desparately wants to attend every day, we were talking about her upcoming birthday. Mind you, she is 2.

We were talking about what kind of cake she wanted and what she wants on the cake... (she is a girly girl - everything pink and princessy.)

Well we get to talking about how she won't be 2 anymore - my way of telling her she is too big to be carried... her way around it.

With her big blue eye and her fluttering eye lashes she stated, "No, I'm going to be 4 momma." End of discussion in her mind..... I was laughing so hard I couldn't argue. I picked her up and gave her a piggy back ride to the car.

Thank goodness John is a chiropractor.

Boo WHOOOOOOO

Ok - So I am making fun of both of us! Boo Hoo for me and my hectic schedule that has left me blogless for about a month now. I know - where is the cheese to go with that expensive wine?

Boo Whoo for you as in "oh, yeah - who are you again?" and "Stop whining that I haven't blogged for so long!"

Ok - really I found it endearing that some of you actually e-mailed me asking if I was still on the face of this planet we call Earth.

Quick Topic For the Day: Color

Does anything not look better in color? Some movies are "classic" in black and white... but would have they been better in color? I mean, I don't see directors running to make reels of black and white. What is it about color that makes things look so much better?

Is it that way in society as well? By that I mean, is there not a beauty that is added to the multitude of colors we have in our society. There are the colors of personality as well as the colors of skin. The multitude of personalities is enough to make your head spin - and honestly it is more relevant than skin color. Which is why skin color has very little influence on me.

I cannot, however, say the same thing about teeth, posture, ethics, hairstyle... (this was in no particular order...) What I am trying to say is that no matter what your skin color, society can still discriminate based on the other factors that lead to the overall picture of who or what you really are.

Not prejudice - just personality.

So how do I portray spunk and book knowledge? I'm thinking I should go a little Lady Bird Johnson with a splash of Mimi... any other suggestions? (Grunge isn't working!!)

Bumper Sticker Heaven

There are days that people just aggravate you. Today wasn't one of them for me.

There are people who just annoy you no matter what they do or say. No matter how "kindly they mean it". (Yeah, right! There is a reason you pick up on the sarcastic vibe - I swear!) Right now, I also am not agitated by anyone like that.

So why did the bumper sticker I read today make me chuckle irrepressibly?

First, I know I have seen this bumper sticker before, but today it just touched me!

"Support your Local Under Taker - DROP DEAD"

It has been quite a while since I have been to a funeral or had any dealings with an under taker... maybe that is why it hit my funny bone. Maybe it is because I wish I had it when I was in Iraq. In retrospect, it seems a fitting response to many people and situations.

However, I could never actually say it to anyone. Not that I am a witch, but I would feel really guilty if I said it to someone and they did. But.... maybe I am a witch... the few people I have told to "go to hell" are deffinately there or on their way. Was that really me though... I think not - you pretty much deem yourself worthy of hell, right? OK - so either it is their fault - or I am Satan and am picking my own army. (The people I have told to venture south would probably think that the latter option was correct. - Oh, well!)

Maybe its the running. Its gotta' be the running that has me thinking so deeply about a blasted bumper sticker!

Sunshine and Lollipops

Sunshine: That bright stuff that comes from the blue sky and makes objects visible. That is a pretty basic definition of it, right? So why can't there be some when I have to run. I held off running until this evening today and what did I get? Grey clouds and rain!

Lollipops: Those delicious orbs of sugar that my kids slobber on and then try to hand back. Why does this get to me, I wiped their butts for how long? Something about slobber just makes me say, "Never mind, it's yours." (Kid response: "Really!?! I love you Mommy.")

There was sunshine, there were loolipops, but there were no rainbows - so I won't go on!

7 Miler - went well, now if I can just remember to bring the camera in from the car!

Super Hero Names

This past week the twin boys - D & Z - and I grabbed a meal on the run. Inside the meal for the kiddos was info on the Guiness Book of World Records. Now, the boys decided the guy who holds the record for stretching his ear lobes the furthest is a superhero - and his name is (of course) Super Stretchy Ears.

So, I asked them what their super hero names were (hey, they're 4 - they can dream!) Typical guy response is what I got --- ( I am SO embarassed, and yet I will tell you) Z told me that his super hero title is "Super Stretchy Penis" - Oh, lord.

Now, I had to look up and see if there was a world's strechiest penis - You know I need to tell the little man what he is up against. First, though I found another disgusting "ears" record - and Mr. Radhakant actually thinks that all this ear hair is a blessing - I am not sure that I agree with him. Fortunately (I think) - all I could find was a record for the Oldest Penis - don't worry - it is actually a fossilized daddy long legs who holds the record (THANK GOODNESS!).

Now that you have had a few laughs about my conversations with my 4 year olds - let me give you an update on the running. Although I am well into the first month of training - 4 miles is just starting to seem easy to me again. For those of you who don't know me personally - I use to run daily - and I have never been a waif. Since then though, I have had another set of twins, a single baby, and 2 broken ankles. Needless to say - my relationship with running is in the love/hate stages right now. (I love the results & effects, Hate the sweating and muscle soreness) This weeks mileage went well and it is fitting into the new "work for free" schedule that is required to complete my college degree. The only difference is that I have moved my long run to Sunday - So, pictures tomorrow of my wonderful 7 miler.

A few predictions: My face will literally be beet red in the after photos, you will be glad they are pictures so you won't smell me, and I will forget to pick up more blister block bandages so I will complain about that.

We'll see how it goes. - Wish me luck!!

Just another Manic.... Crap it's Tuesday!

That's right - I actually wish it was Monday again. It is Tuesday and I feel like I accomplished ZERO - GRRRR!

Monday - scheduled as a day off from running- so I did 2 miles and a leg workout
Tuesday - scheduled to do 3 miles - I got in 0 (ZERO) and didn't even sleep in

Monday - worked for free for the government, but at least found some job openings.
Tuesday - worked for free with 4 year olds (36 of them!) - got green paint on me right before I had to come do an English Western Lit. TEST! - Oh yeah, and over their nap time - I stood in line at the DMV!

I think that pretty much sums it up! Great day - Can't wait for tomorrow!

Health and Harmony

John is the BOMB! Man, this man is good to me! How did I get so lucky?

Since he is a chiropractor - he has been hooking me up with adjustments after almost every run. Whether it is my shoulders (why are THEY hurting - isn't it my legs taking the pounding? ~ Really, I already know the correct answer to this.) or the legs, or my back - he is making it all better again. My own little secret weapon in completing this marathon training.

What is it that I wanted to use his chiropractic table for today? A NAP! I kid you not. I am blasted tired.

So, will the alarm clock wake me up tomorrow? Only time will tell....


Here's the Plug for him - Are you in Fayetteville, NC?
Health and Harmony Wellness Center - (910) 864-9400 - on Reilly Road

6 Miles a Minute

Yeah right! I wish!

The Photos: the first one is of the T-shirt I love to wear. Johnathan traded one of the Fort Bragg Rugby Club's shirt to one of the women from Eno River. I just love the saying on the back- If you know me, then you know that this pretty much fits my personality.

Picture of me is after the 6 miler this morning and post-shower. Hair just out of the towel and I still haven't combed it!

Finally the sideways photo is my official Team In Training training shirt. I guess Nike is generous enough to give us their microfiber shirts - sweet! I am actually scared to wear it when I run outside - Dude - I sweat A LOT! THe humidity and distances do not make for a crisp white shirt for long.... so far, so good though!

Continuing my saga of training for the Walt Disney World Marathon on January 7 ~ Today I ran 6 miles. It went pretty well! The trail was still the Cape Fear River Trail and the only thing bad about running on a Sunday morning there is that the water on the path isn't ice cold. I guess the guy who rides his golf cart around refilling the coolers with ice and the port-a-potties with TP goes to church - or sleeps in. Either way - it wasn't too bad. The trail did flatten out a little bit in miles 2-4, but again the first third was a good warm-up with a bunch of down hills - and the end had me pushing it. However, today was different - not only were there hills but there was also a "friendly dog" who had broken his owner's leash. By friendly - I mean that he was in love with me and no matter whether I ran, walked, sprinted, laid down and acted like a dead fish - he wanted to be with me. So, I ended up running the last hills (killer monsters) just to get it over with.

Needless to say - I am now sitting in the office icing my shins - but other than that everything is peachy keen! And I am going to the pool or hot tub later - we'll see how the shins are doing as to which one it ends up being.

Oh, and the new shoes have given me a blister on my heel and John used all my blister block band-aids. GRRRR....Help! Need the address to send them to? Check out: My TNT site

Erik Pushed a Button

My pal Eric, the guy who worked in the cubicle next to when I was in Baghdad last year, blogged on something the other day that just completely pushed my "ROAR" button.

Johnathan and I were just talking about this the other night as well - the whole "Katrina Survivor" issue, for we had caught an interview that was on the evening news.

Here's the jist of it: A man who used to live in New Orleans now lives in Raleigh. He was talking about how the effort to clean the city up, his neighborhood, etc. is taking too long - that nothing is being done. Then he went on to say that he has only been back once for what amounted to just over 24 hours. He hasn't gone back again and won't, he stated.

Here's my take: Are you 4? Did you never learn to clean up your own mess? Dude - it doesn't matter if Mother Nature caused it. I don't care if you don't want to live there anymore - I wouldn't either. However, you still have a responsibility to get back to your place and clean your area up. (My goodness, I say exactly that on the mornings my 4 year old twins don't clean up their breakfast spot.) So many of the "Katrina Survivors" have that same story - their whole complaint is that somebody else hasn't cleaned up for them. WHAT A CROCK!

Furthermore, your lack to clean up your area, land, flooded apartment - whatever - should result in some kind of action. Failure to return and clean it up is resulting in countless volunteers being exposed to the excessive mold, mildew, bacteria and viruses that can grow in those conditions. I agree that it is disgusting - but equate it to your child being sick - you still have to get out the mop or the towels and clean up the mess - you don't just leave it sitting around. And yes - I get it, It is Hard! - Economically, emotionally.... that still isn't an excuse. As my father told me time and time again - "Life isn't fair." (and "You mess with a truck, you get ran over.")

I'm not saying the situation doesn't deserve your neighbors assistance, however, How dare you expect them to do all the work for you. The only real survivors are those that are still there, cleaning up, re-building. Bottom line - your not a survivor - you simply abandoned the society and community you were suppose to be contributing to. You are the social equivalent of a dead beat dad.

First Day of Pre-K

"Momma - I got a green day" That is what I heard as I picked Divon & Zephan up from there first day of Pre-K. (Yep - another year of Pre-K - No, they didn't fail it!)

Although the teachers may consider not recommending them for kindergarten!

This year Divon & Zephan switched classrooms. Divon (in the blue T-shirt) has Ms. Hollingsworth and Zephan has Mrs. Merritt. Well, they both just squealed with delight at the fact that both teachers kept calling them by the other's name. Furthermore, they decided that they are going to switch classes tomorrow after recess and see if anybody notices.

Personally, I think they will get caught - not because I am plotting against them, but rather because they don't dress alike! Duh! - If they think far enough ahead to even wear the same shirt I will applaud their effort. However, I am guessing it will take at least a couple of months, if not years of plotting before they can get the twin switch down. Last year they considered it once.

On a separate note - I am sore from the mileage today. (I did managed to find a new pair of running shoes.) I would love to blame the soreness on the shoes, but I think I may have been pushing it a little hard this morning. ok, ok - you caught me... I skimped out on a day last week and I decided my punishment is to do an extra work out every week for a month. What it boils down to is that I only had one recovery day after our long run, which was another 4 miler.

In my infinite wisdom, I thought I would be ok. But, I think the shins need a couple extra icing sessions and I will be good to go.

Does Aqua Jogging count? In the hot-tub?? While sitting???

And just so all of you know - I am still running most workouts on the treadmill, but I have increased the pace.... did that help me up the hills this past Saturday... Yeah, not so much!

Honestly, I am a little timid of running on the streets at o-dark-thirty without a dog and ambulance in closs proximity! Ok, I am just scared of breaking the ankle AGAIN!

Urban-ization of Footwear - What a crock!

This past weekend, as part of the Team in Training training... ha! - Well, the training subject after our long run was running attire. We specifically dealt with footwear - and the official sponsor is The Finish Line - OK great! - They give us some classes, evaluate our gait and strike, and a discount if we purchase footwear there. Ok - good business. Bottom line though - they have crap for women's footwear for running.

I walked in and after the class they asked me what specific issues I had. Well, I have a high arch, I have broken my ankle twice in the past 16 months, I have sprained both ankles numerous times and I like a wider toebox. Do you want to hear what I heard?

"Oh, well ~ we don't have a wide selection of women's running shoes. We were urbanized this past summer, so we haven't received a lot of running shoes for women. We have them for men."

Let me get this straight - you are called the finish line?

Do I look like I want a clod - hoppin' man's running shoe?

OK -

Urbanization? So, what, the urbanites are no longer running from the bullets? - They're just gonna' do that Michael Jordan jump over them? Let's face it - the shoes that she showed me as far as what they have received in the past few months did not look like they had anything to do with business (attire) ~ so exactly who in Urbania are they marketing to?

Shake Your Booty

PICT0087
Originally uploaded by DoubleMomma.

Here they are. Whose genetics do they have? Can they shake their booties with the best of the brotha's - or do they have the white man can't dance genetic markers? Either way - they think they are the best little booty shakers around. Too Cute, t'boot.

Furthermore, if you stick yours out - they will play a little ditty on you "booty bongo drums"! Lovely!!

Innocent - I think NOT!

First: Happy Birthday to my Dad, Joel - and my sister, Jess!! (I don't think they are completely innocent either!)

picture-h 067
Originally uploaded by DoubleMomma.

Yes, she looks adorable and innocent, but looks can be deceiving!

Let me expand your understanding of the here and now.... Just a few days ago we were getting ready to go run some errands. We had lots of things to do so I was in a hurry. Quick - Get your shoes on!, Quick - Find my keys!, Shoot - Where did I set that paperwork??, Fine - You have to go potty go upstairs while I get your snack, Quick - out the door kid-o's! - In the car - Seat belts buckled?

So, after we have been to the Farmer's Market to pick up some fruits and veggies, Daddy's Office for all of us to be adjusted, the other doctor's office to pick up paperwork so the twins can start school next week, and a few other stops I finally get to the gym for my workout....

OK - Everybody out! - Divon, open sister's door for her - Zephan, unbuckle her seatbelt - Oh, your crawling over to get out my side DD? - OK, come here....

What is that in my hand? Little mama is going commando today... all I got was a handful of bare butt!.... Man, she has been like this since we left home! Great!

What am I gonna' do when she turns 14? 16? CRAP! - I am so in for a lot of greys.... anybody know a cheap hair stylist/colorist???

After the Run

Ok - From the top - Post long run #1... Just a question - can 4 miles kill a person?? Just joshin' - But I have decided that I have to do a little less treadmill running. Why? Because there was no little black belt to propel my butt up those hills on the Cape Fear River Trail. There also wasn't any fan blowing on me. Thank goodness for dri-weave! Yep - I am a little red! Anyway, the first two pictures are mild exagerations! But boy, I have really been taking it easy.

The twice broken ankle survived without injury - YEAH!

Dude - was that sky for real? It looks really nice, but whatever - add about 25 degrees - BALMY!!

Yes, I know lovely hair!! Thanks, but my stylist refused to come within 20 feet of me and my lovely sweaty self! And, like I even carry a comb in my car. Bottom line - I will be looking rough in many pictures....hmmmm, maybe I should carry a comb in my car.

So, enjoying seeing me do the dirty work - visit the site http://www.active.com/donate/tntenc/tntencHGustaf

First "Long Run"

I missed the "long" group run this morning because I have an 8 am class... I put long is quotes because it is a 4 miler.

A little background - I have been running 3 miles a day for 5 days a week... the training schedule for this week was 3miles on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and our "long" run today.

So, the group met at 8 while I was sippin' a cup o' joe in the cool classroom.... Now, noon - 30 degrees hotter I will be heading out for my run on the same trail. 2 out 2 back....

This is my before picture, (actually, this is the picture of what I looked like while the rest of the team was out training), but I will include my after photo in about another hour... Dude, I better be back in the a/c in about an hour.... Ok - here I go.

We will see if I am still putting long in its special form after we are done with this... Have a glass of lemonade while I sweat my tail off!!




Have I procastinated long enough........................................................................................

Early Bird - I set the fuse a little short

So the fundraising site is ready... try http://www.active.com/donate/tntenc/tntencHGustaf - I will get a REAL link (as Erik would tell me) in another day... Because Hey - I am redesigning the whole layout - need some fresh tears shed over all this life changing stuff. The flickr pictures will be back in a couple of days... I'm working everything in between the classes, the interviews and the internship.... oh, and planning the wedding! Right, how could I forget that one?

The big kickoff party is still tomorrow... so I will post some pictures after that!

Just so y'all know - my pre-training workouts are kicking my butt!! Literally - it hurts to sit (no, there are no hemroids involved.) A couple of elementary teachers kicked my booty with a lunge workout yesterday and today we did a treadmill work out that they call their butt blaster. (If you were with me from my posts in Iraq - I probably will rename Curt's coffee that!) Anyway - Bottom line - Send a motrin along with your donation!

Hey get back up there and check out that site!

'Cuz I'm TNT - Dino-might!

Big news!! No I am not pregnant with another set of twins - John would flip - hehehehe! I have taken the challenge to do another 26.2 miles all at one shot. Our official "Kick-off" is this Thursday. I am part of the Team in Training for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in our area. There will be more information on this and another site that you can visit to get your daily dose of "How much pain is Heather in today?" or "Ha Ha - I was inside sippin' lemonade while you were sweating out 5 miles in that 100 degree weather - hehehe!" Either way - it will be enjoyable and informative on what is going on in my life...

In Other News
I will be starting my internship - yeah, the unpaid one! Great, I don't even get the crappy cost of gas back! - as soon as the boys go back to pre-k. They didn't fail it!!! It is just that they are 4 and will be until January - even the private schools don't want them because their birthdays are 9 days after the deadline.... whatever - like I could afford a private school tuition for both of them and work unpaid!

Anyway - my internship will be with a major military hospital in the area that I used to work for, but this time I will be in charge of the people who used to be in charge of me!!!! I will rule the world!!! - Ok, so I went a little Pinky and the Brain on you for a second.... I am really excited about it though and coupled with the 6 classes and the marathon training - life is going to be a little hectic for a while, but I think that each part of it is worth the effort.

So, just a reminder - I am running with Team in Training - so I expect you all to log on to the site that I will launch on Thursday - throw in a couple dollars - YES - I AM COMMITTED TO RAISING $3500 FOR THE LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY! - Don't worry it is tax deductible and I will send you a receipt for your contribution - so - look back late Thursday or early Friday to see the new link...

Arena Football V. Rugby

Ok - so it is 7's season for the Ft. Bragg Rugby Football Club - so that means my honey is playing more because he loves the sprinting game. I though, like the arena football better. I think I get more laughs out of it.

The ruggers - you know what you get when you show up - it's social, there are drinks for every age, and there is the physical/sport side of it as well. It is a good thing - but it is blasted hot out there with 0 (ZERO) shade. Did someone say LOBSTER?

Arena Football on the other hand allows for a bit of tail-gaiting in the shade prior to the game - Cool. Then once inside you get all the other stuff that comes at the rugby game but with A/C!! Way Cool. Here are a few of the laughs I got from the Fayetteville Guard's Round 2 Playoff game this past Sunday:
1) Did you sleep in - like all the way through church? Not a problem - the half-time show was a church chior and mini-sermon/inspirational-come-to-our-church show. Sad part - a) wasn't that good, b)Dude, there was a reason I slept through church this morning, c)[Yeah, I know I am going to hell for this one] - the music could have been used by a stripper, but the lead singer should definately not have been the stripper - if you know what I mean.
2) Ok - the team is the Fayetteville Guard - the defensive coach wears mock BDUs, has dog tags and a very military high n' tight. The cheer leaders were camoflage tops, they have a guy who was released from active duty just a month or so ago - just to play with them (yeah, he is pretty darn good). What is one of there sponsorship notes? - "Support Operation Cease Fire..."

What???

Good times....

All in all - I like 'em both. Although I will be happy when it is 15's again for the ruggers - that means cooler weather.

Oh, and a note to the Omaha Tourism Council - received your "things to do in Omaha" book - You left out the rugby!! Until it is also noted, John says he won't move there.... Please FIX!!

Finals R Final

Well - It is time to celebrate - The evening classes are over until August!!! Break out a beer for ME! Well, not really - I am going home to relieve the sitter and after I get the cherubs in bed I am having a glass of Merlot! Yummmm! What has my anal attitude given me this semester - not butt bisters I will tell you that! No, really - things are looking great - should come out with nothing lower than an A-. Ok, one final kicked my butt because I went to the beach over the long weekend, otherwise it would have been A+ across the board. Now you can all send me my quarter (25 cents) for each passing grade!! Love Ya', Mean it!! - Hey, this wedding will not be the reason I go to the bank for a loan! hehehehe!

Furthermore - the beach left me very pink - but I am not peeling yet! What is it with peeling that crispy skin off that is so addictive? I am actually kind of mad that it hasn't started yet! And lets face it with my kiddos being a lovely latte they just turn more cafe instead of red. Yes, all I did was give birth and let them drink from the dairy bar for the first year of their life... other than that - there is no evidence that they are mine! Most people would argue that DD has colored eyes... well John's brother has green so I am almost completely convinced that she too is 98% him and 2% me (her hair isn't black - that's worth 2% right? Please?)

To my sister in S. Korea - DROP ME A COMMENT!!! (Lazy butt) hehehe! - I know you are enjoying yourself over there, but come on, be social!

And to my grandma - Ok - now I can hopefully indulge in actually finishing Atwood's book!

Summer TV

i WAS addicted to my DVR - then the summer schedule came out. Besides my much loved addiction to "House" and "Num3ers" - I could care less.... the search for So you think you can dance was only funny the first week, (Man - "Sex" is the next Wang Hung - or whatever is name was...American Idol disaster with 15 minutes of fame) the comedy competition is blah - I love Josh Blue- he rocks. Besides Mencia and the retarded population laughing with him at themselves, Blue is the only true "disabled HIT" - okay - there was that deaf actress - she was cool - and YES - I know Mencia isn't disabled - sometimes he could fool you though( - note the above pic with blue background)!! Blue is just crazy though - you know when he is telling those stories about himself and his cerebral palsy~ he is telling you what actually happened - he absolutely makes me "busta' gut"!

Anyway - for my Grandma - I am reading "The Penelopiad" by Margaret Atwood. If you haven't yet read it - I think you would LOVE it! For everyone else - if you know the story of Odysseus - this gives you Penelope's view. Intriguing!

Did I really just do this:
Comics Making Fun of Disabilities + Greek Mythology = One of My BLOG entries!

Have a great DAY!! - The wedding will be at........THE BEACH!

WHY do I hate Wal-mart??

John had the wonderful task of picking up rice milk for DD the other night. Boy, he should have called me before he went!

He walked in a bit before midnight - he thought it would be fairly slow at that time. For those of you who don't know the only time you will get in and out of Wal-Mart in under 20 minutes to just pick up some milk is around 4 am OR about 8:30am. Every other time - slate an hour out of your day. Wal-mart does a crap job of caring if there are lines - they figure you will look around even if you are pissed and see something else that you "really need".

Well - lucky him, the rice milk had been re-stocked! Yeah, usually he has to wait for one of the dairy boys to run in the back, smoke a couple of cigarettes with his pals, take a coffee break, open a bag of rice, boil, squeeze and gently pasturize it - then cool it and hand it the carton to him and tell him it was the last one he could find.

So, he struts up to the checkout area - KA-BAMM!! "Attention all shoppers you are the proud recepients of a half-hour wait because our cashiers must do their midnight close-out. Sandy, the needed supervisor just ran over to Waffle House for a bite to eat and will be back shortly" (29 minutes later) "Attention shoppers - Sandy is now back, but the one checkout girl we have is only a trainee with no trainer and Sandy hasn't actually keyed in a close-out in 5 years - it will be a while." (20 minutes later) "Will all shoppers needing a checkout move to register 19 - we are stripping the floors so register 29 (the one that everyone in the store is waiting to be funneled through) is closing for the night." Mad rush to register 29 - all the people at the back of the line are now in front and those ready to check out at midnight will have another 55 minute wait - B-U-T-full!

Christ - if they knew they were going to strip the floor - why didn't they just move everyone at midnight - This was pretty much how his night went. Needless to say - when he got home I laughed at him! Why can't anyone else in town have rice milk available 24 hours a day?????!!! - No really, for when my "I'll remember her milk, I don't need to write it down" syndrome returns next week.

I am on a mint chocolate chip malt high right now... I haven't had one of those in a couple of years. Normally I would have went to Dairy Queen for one, but the closest DQ is like 30 minutes away. So I tried the place that has my FAV caramel shakes... Cook-Out. Man they use chips of chocolate - I love that! It is amazing the little things that make my day.

So, the kids are having a hay day in the pool that we set up in our backyard. The only thing is that I have to lock the upstairs windows at night because I have caught little DD trying to climb out one of them onto the roof to go skinny dippin. SHE IS ONLY 2!! What is wrong with this child. She knows that she can't reach the lock on the door so she tries "sneaking" out the 2nd floor window. Man, I have got my hands full. The twins are/were/will be nothing compared to this little she-devil! What is the strongest metal I can buy? Does Lowe's carry it? and is there a minimum length of chain that you have to give a child when you are shackling her to your house FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE?

No, really... I know that although she is going to give me just as many laughs as she does heart attacks... but really - let's face it - heart attacks kill people! So, maybe I should just plan the wedding to be in a padded room or at least have a medical staff on hand with epi drips ready to insert into my veins. Because if we have it on the beach I know one little girl who will want a white bathing suit with a skirt, flippers and snorkeling equipment as her accessories. The boys - they will be happy with some beach balls and some sand castle makin' toys.

Here's a little ditty that I had to create tonight in class... yeah - it is a basic computer course. Just a requirement I have been hoping that they would drop before I graduated (especially since I have already taken the classes that are after it). But here, maybe it will give you a few chuckles!

Oh, I don't have enough time to give you the really great version of it... maybe next time (there were some great pictures in my "flyer" or bulletin - or whatever it was that I had to create.)

Live Longer with a Healthy Lifestyle

With the prevalence of diabetes, obesity and heart problems in our society, it is a wonder that anyone is still alive. On the other hand it is hard to believe that anyone wants to use a drive through! How dare ye of little willpower!! Our society’s future shall be filled with gluttonous nobodies unless common sense starts reigning supreme. Get up and move. Put down that donut and never look back – your life depends on it!


MOVE IT
Put down the remote. With the prevalence of diabetes, obesity and heart problems in our society, it is a wonder that anyone is still alive. How dare ye of little willpower!! Our society’s future shall be filled with gluttonous nobodies unless common sense starts reigning supreme. Get up and move. Put down that donut and never look back – your life depends on it!

LOOSE IT
So you think you look like a cow in that dress? Or maybe you can’t see that you are surpassing the last belt hole. Yeah, you’re a size XXXL. What does that mean? It means you know you are well into the double digits and are afraid to put a real number on it. Get up and move. Put down that donut and never look back – your life depends on it!

How dare ye of little willpower!! Our society’s future shall be filled with gluttonous nobodies unless common sense starts reigning supreme.

TAKE A CRUNCH BREAK – CARROTS ARE GOOD!
They aren’t deep fat fried, they don’t have those nasty trans fats, and they can be “worked into” almost every diet… YES, THE VEGETABLE! How dare ye of little willpower!! Our society’s future shall be filled with gluttonous nobodies unless common sense starts reigning supreme. Get up and move. Put down that donut and never look back – your life depends on it!

LOVE TO LIVE A LITTLE
You’re depressed because you don’t do anything. You don’t do anything because you’re depressed. Vicious cycle, isn’t it? Get out there and do something about it. Even if that means walking when only the crack whores are out… don’t worry, they will be scared that you would sit on them. They can’t claim workers comp, can they?!

LIVE TO LOVE A LITTLE
Positive attitudes reap positive rewards. Keep in mind the goals that you really want. You obviously know that eating that slow churn ice cream doesn’t give you powerful biceps, thrust worthy thighs or tight glutes. Move to the beat of what you really want.
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Next: I have another very interesting professor - my favorite quote came from him last night... (right after he did a "beaner" joke from Mencia)

"We should only be hemispherically racist" Referring to business and trade agreements and how our government handles them for our economy. True?? hmmmmmmm...

Back to being a girl...

It took a while, but after wearing that blahh cafe, 2 layer of dust, and sand colored uniform for a year I have finally started wearing jewelry again. Not a lot mind you, but a watch with a shiny band, some earrings that twist, dangle, and shine... a neclace with some color every now and then.

To many of you this may not seem like any big thing. For me though, it is huge. Johnathan would hint that when I put in my small earings I looked more feminine. Then a couple of weeks ago when I really had a banquet, some promotion parties, and some other social events to go to everyone there hardly recognized me because my hair wasn't pulled back in a pony tail, I put on some mascara, and I was wearing real clothes (yeah, versus the fake ones I am always trying to pass off as real!) that didn't have a ketchup handprint or yogurt splash on it! ((It was amazing that I got out of the house without either one of those.))

But, it was also a wake up call for me that although I wasn't wearing a uniform everyday anymore, I was doing everything else like I was.... no fingernail polish, no jewelry, nothing fun or girly.

On a harsher note, Johnathan and I have been discussing my feelings of never wanting to go back to my unit (National Guard) again. I hate leaving my kids even though it is only for 2-3 days. He hates feeling like he is supporting me to go off for another year. I am serious when I say that I NEVER want to go back to another weekend drill. It is like it is a fake life. I don't mean that as far as the training. I mean that the message that I give my kids is that when I put on that uniform I am only going away for 48-72 hours and that I will return - tired but still the same momma as when I left.

Furthermore - I can't stand being around crowds. Family is kind of one thing, but social events turn me off. Johnathan and I take separate vehicles because I can only handle it for about 30 minutes to an hour. Why??? - I haven't figured that one out yet... really - more than 5-7 people I just want to get out of there. Not that I am scared or anything, I just don't want to talk to anyone, don't want to be around anyone... At first I thought it was because I just wanted to be around the kiddos... what is my excuse now?? I have realized they are a handful that I sometimes just need a few moments away from. At first I would even start little fights with Johnathan just to make him want to leave. Now he just knows to take his car and when I say I will see him later at home, he knows not to push me to stay and I will great him happily when he gets home, even if it is a couple of hours later.

Why blog about it? Well, I know there are a lot of people who have came back from the sand box, who really saw a lot more than their eyes had ever been forced to see before. I have seen the crappy things people can do to one another when I worked in the operating room and in the trauma services. I don't know why I have had this change... but the other men and women returning... well, I will just say I sympathize... can't say I understand, I can't say how to get through it... I can only relate to the changes.

GOING TO GET SOME SAND

John is my hero!! As if you didn't already know that, but he has just scheduled us a little mid-week trip to the beach!! YES!! Sad part - I have no clue which beach we are going to, but it really doesn't matter - it's the beach. It doesn't get any better than that. I love that we aren't going to have to deal with the weekend traffic that the beach brings once the 70+ degree weather hits. That is just a bonus in every aspect.

It means no waiting an hour to get a table at a decent restaurant.

It means taking 15 minutes to drive from the highway to our hotel instead of 1hour and 15 minutes.

It means a place on the beach that is quiet enough to read, sunbathe, whatever without having to worry about the redneck 3 feet from you exposing a little too much lower back - if you know what I mean.

It means an enjoyable, relaxing, fun time will be had! He so rocks!

Is it so wrong...??

...to love the fact that you have to go to college to get away from the poopy-sick-girl-panties that your 2 year old is having?

...to want a glass of wine before noon because that is the only thing that seems to kills the taste that is in your mouth from the above said smell?

...to let said child take 5 baths a day? (She is a little OCD about being smelly after having to poopy - can't blame her lately!)

...to want to wear nose plugs while within a 20 foot radius of your child? (OK, I should just dig out the lemon oil, or peppermint ointment - but can I put a streak under my nose without being in the morgue - I am saying YES!)

...to hate (and yet love) that her abdominal x-ray shows "excessive gas"?

OK - so you can see that my life has been very negatively odoriforous (is that remotely close to the correct spelling??) as of late. Poor little girl has lost 3-4 pounds with a stomach virus over the last week. But she seems to be doing better today. So, tomorrow I will be heading to the car wash to see if they can sell me a keg of some "pretty smell" they use when they clean out my car... I AM GOING TO NEED IT!!

Student Status es Quo

Little english, a little spanish and ya' can't forget the latin!

Anyway - I am actually putting a bit of an effort back in my educational experience... I HATE GETTING A "B"!! Of course, I am also back to the subjects that bore everyone else, but my anal personality allows me complete and utter jubilation in the work assigned. I love looking like 'little miss know-it-all'!! hehehehe! No, really - I just sat through a class (accounting - part II) where I was just about the only person who actually did the homework - and was the only one who could point out all the mistakes everyone else made!!! HA!

That is the weird thing - you all know it - you love to know you are right. But how much is all this up-tight book knowledge going to get me? That is the question that remains to be answered. How well can I sell the knowledge that I am able to pull out of my arse on a moments notice when everyone else has to go look it up in a manual or book first? DOES IT MATTER?

What is a Girl to Do???

There are just some people in this world who make you want change all your locks, pull down your shades and live like a hermit.

Not only that, but my particular person of crumudgeony splendor should not be allowed to open his mouth in public. Why? His view of women sucks! POINT BLANK.

One song comes to mind: SHOUT!
(and it goes a little something like this...)

Oh, he makes me want to SHOUT
Throw my hands up and SHOUT
Kick him in the balls and SHOUT
Wring his little neck and SHOUT

Waiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiait a minute..... Nope... he makes me want to SHOUT.

OK, there is another, darker song by Poe that comes to mind.... Angry Johnny
(for those who know the song, I am not going to kill the guy.... he just makes me look at the possibility of it in a different light!)

Here's the bottom line... if you don't know what you are talking about - keep your mouth shut. You only come off as more ignorant than you already seemed to me. Secondly, don't go toutin' your "women are to be told what to do" and "all females should wait on me" line of crap when in my presence. Get a grip! And no, I won't even be offering you a drink at my place because everyone knows - I'm standing around in an apron to wipe the sweat off your glass, or hand you my chapstick after your finished.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! -

Smokies or Sand in my Panties???

Still haven't decided - although, the mountain/vineyard idea is really growing on me. BUT if I could find a big beach house that had an enclosed access to the beach (where we could drink without risking any guest getting a public intoxication ticket) I would take it.

Am I asking for a drunk-fest? NO - I just know that if we are having this celebration over an hour from everyone's home - then people will probably drink a bit more because they will have planned on staying the night - a.k.a. no driving. And honestly - only the nice drinkers are invited anyway! (Hehehehe!)

Which brings me to the subject of kids.... I know there is this whole movement to explicitly not invite children to a wedding, but honestly - GET OUT! So, I have been brainstorming for ways to make it all work... Here is what I am thinking - around 7 or 8 o'clock we will have some "sitters" take the little ones indoors for movies and a snack - they can all fall asleep while mommies and daddies have a little dancing time/joking time as well. Has anyone else tried this? Pros? Cons? Any other ideas??

OK - I'm Gettin' Married

1. Last night I got razzed by my fiance and pals because I haven't "seemed excited" about getting married. Here's my take: If I am planning a wedding that is over one year, but less than 2 years away - why should I be stressing out and going on and on about it until - oh, say - 3-4 months before the big event? Right now, I am just trying to decide - East Coast summer-ish BEACH wedding or Fall Folliage Blue Ridge mountain scenery wedding.... hmmmm. And all of that depends on "finding the venue". So, today I picked up the wedding planner and a North Carolina magazine that focuses on venues, and all the people you need to pay to have a wedding here in NC. Maybe by the end of this week I will have a date and a place picked out - but, honestly I want to go visit my top 3-5 - so it will probably be a month before I make my decision. I just don't want my family and friends to show up to the wedding saying - "Jeesh - can we just get this over with so she will stop talking about it!"
   
   So - to alleviate all the wonder around this event - I'm working on it. Don't fret, Johnathan and I will send out an announcement of the date well in advance for all those who will need to make travel arrangements. We are casual fun people - so this isn't going to be a formal affair, but rather a sassy celebration.
   
   Therefore:
   1. Women will be lookin' good
   2. Men are expected to shower and smell delicious
   3. There will be no lavas or going regimental until after Johnathan and I have tossed the bouquet and garter.
   **For our family and friends who don't know these are serious rugby traditions - and as accepting Johnathan as my partner, I know that these little rugby traditions will be carried out at our reception - I will only set the time frame as to when gentlemen may turn into ruggers. All those who do not play rugby, you will get many laughs - just don't starch your collars too much... I am giving fair notice, well in advance!

Yeth

"Yeth", "Bohy", "No, You Go Way" - All of these are DD's favorite phrases. She has had me and Johnathan crracking up. Yeth - is of course - Yes. Bohy - well that is how she says good-bye - She really enunciates the B and then makes and opera mouth OHY. So, watching her say it is as funny as hearing it. No, you go aaway is her favorite game to play with me while in a shopping cart - any shopping cart, anywhere. She pushes off of me, be it with her feet or with her hands - and then just giggles with glee as she is free-sailing the aisle (okay, about a whopping 3')

'Von and Zeph are both still "didon" to her. So, I can only figure out who hit her or wouldn't let her play with them by which boy comes up to me saying, "I gave her a kiss/hug!" - Yep that is one of the things our household HAS to do when they hurt someone else. You know, as well as I do, that all they would have to do is stay where they are and point fingers at each other when I ask who-did-it and I would be utterly baffled because Dazjah has no idea that there is a boy in our house who isn't named "didon" or daddy. I am sure it won't be too much longer before they get keen on this. Great - I can't wait.

Potty Training - DD is currently trying out for that catergory... however - I must get her clued into one tiny fact - IT MEANS GOING PEE ON THE TOILET MORE THAN THE ONE TIME BEFORE BED! We do the "Oh, no... You peed in your big girl panties... We have to go change them so you don't stink" routine about 6-7 times before she gets it right.... YAY!!! then she takes a nap. Obviously her little brain stores that in the volatile memory cache - thus - IT IS GONE and we have to go through it all again after she wakes up..... WHEN DOES THE LAUNDRY STOP SPINNING??? Diapers are going to be the cheaper alternative soon! But, I love her... so we'll do it again tomorrow. Wish me luck and send me some shock therapy undies... just kidding! (no I'm not - YES I AM!)

Things that ticked me off today...

...Kids not listening - GET ON YOUR SHOES!

...Guy in traffic who thought I should go 55 in the 35mph school zone and honked, flicked lights, and probably gave me a few parting gestures

...2 dish installation guys who said they would be at my house between 8am and noon.... LIARS - noon to 3pm

...kid with the squirts

...daddy who refuses to clean up kid with the squirts mess (Yeah, momma's love the smell. We get all gripy if you don't let us deal with it. )

...the other parents who couldn't follow directions so they took 45 minutes to make a little ball of playdough (add the water slowly - unless you wanted cake batter)

...new fangled ladders - can I just get one that will let me paint the corner of my dining room - not one that unfolds in 15 different places and each one has its own keypad to unlock and voice activation requirement before you step on the first rung.... (OK, it didn't have quite all of that - BUT ALMOST!)

...dish installation guys who managed to knock over a new set of sprouting seedlings that were 10 feet from anywhere they should have been.

OK - yep, the dish installation guys pissed me off, but in their defense they gave Johnathan his rugby station - Setanta. What did they give me? Nadda' - Ok, maybe a way to watch 50 First Dates a billion times - love that DVR!

Today was typical - except that I was stuck at home this morning waiting for the dish install men to show up - then running my butt off to get the boys at school, get to a parent meeting, followed by being late for a test, followed by cramming for another one. Man - I can't wait for tomorrow!

Momma, I have to go spread my nuts!

This is what Divon told me the other night. Of course, as a mother who still has to tell him which shoe goes on which foot, I found this statement pushed him a bit ahead of others in his age group.

Well, to let you all know what was really going on - he had sesame seeds in his hand. He was referring to them as "his nuts". And he was going outside to spread them on the ground for the birds or squirrels to eat. So environmentally conscientious, my little man!

Whew! (I know that is what you are thinking, as was I!)

The other part of the story is that Johnathan and I were grilling. We had some sesame oil, fresh grated ginger, sesame "nuts", soy sauce, dark brown sugar - maybe a couple of other ingredients - in the merinade for the chicken. Well, while I was taking Johnathan his refreshing beverage of choice Chef Divon added another half jar of sesame "nuts" and some KETCHUP! (The ketchup was not only in the merinade, but also streaked across my freshly painted cabinets!) John and I thought it might throw off the flavor we were going for, but hey - the kid is a grillin' guru - It turned out great. Personally, I think it is because the majority of the ketchup was spewed across my kitchen cabinets.