Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Summer TV

i WAS addicted to my DVR - then the summer schedule came out. Besides my much loved addiction to "House" and "Num3ers" - I could care less.... the search for So you think you can dance was only funny the first week, (Man - "Sex" is the next Wang Hung - or whatever is name was...American Idol disaster with 15 minutes of fame) the comedy competition is blah - I love Josh Blue- he rocks. Besides Mencia and the retarded population laughing with him at themselves, Blue is the only true "disabled HIT" - okay - there was that deaf actress - she was cool - and YES - I know Mencia isn't disabled - sometimes he could fool you though( - note the above pic with blue background)!! Blue is just crazy though - you know when he is telling those stories about himself and his cerebral palsy~ he is telling you what actually happened - he absolutely makes me "busta' gut"!

Anyway - for my Grandma - I am reading "The Penelopiad" by Margaret Atwood. If you haven't yet read it - I think you would LOVE it! For everyone else - if you know the story of Odysseus - this gives you Penelope's view. Intriguing!

Did I really just do this:
Comics Making Fun of Disabilities + Greek Mythology = One of My BLOG entries!

Have a great DAY!! - The wedding will be at........THE BEACH!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

WHY do I hate Wal-mart??

John had the wonderful task of picking up rice milk for DD the other night. Boy, he should have called me before he went!

He walked in a bit before midnight - he thought it would be fairly slow at that time. For those of you who don't know the only time you will get in and out of Wal-Mart in under 20 minutes to just pick up some milk is around 4 am OR about 8:30am. Every other time - slate an hour out of your day. Wal-mart does a crap job of caring if there are lines - they figure you will look around even if you are pissed and see something else that you "really need".

Well - lucky him, the rice milk had been re-stocked! Yeah, usually he has to wait for one of the dairy boys to run in the back, smoke a couple of cigarettes with his pals, take a coffee break, open a bag of rice, boil, squeeze and gently pasturize it - then cool it and hand it the carton to him and tell him it was the last one he could find.

So, he struts up to the checkout area - KA-BAMM!! "Attention all shoppers you are the proud recepients of a half-hour wait because our cashiers must do their midnight close-out. Sandy, the needed supervisor just ran over to Waffle House for a bite to eat and will be back shortly" (29 minutes later) "Attention shoppers - Sandy is now back, but the one checkout girl we have is only a trainee with no trainer and Sandy hasn't actually keyed in a close-out in 5 years - it will be a while." (20 minutes later) "Will all shoppers needing a checkout move to register 19 - we are stripping the floors so register 29 (the one that everyone in the store is waiting to be funneled through) is closing for the night." Mad rush to register 29 - all the people at the back of the line are now in front and those ready to check out at midnight will have another 55 minute wait - B-U-T-full!

Christ - if they knew they were going to strip the floor - why didn't they just move everyone at midnight - This was pretty much how his night went. Needless to say - when he got home I laughed at him! Why can't anyone else in town have rice milk available 24 hours a day?????!!! - No really, for when my "I'll remember her milk, I don't need to write it down" syndrome returns next week.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

I am on a mint chocolate chip malt high right now... I haven't had one of those in a couple of years. Normally I would have went to Dairy Queen for one, but the closest DQ is like 30 minutes away. So I tried the place that has my FAV caramel shakes... Cook-Out. Man they use chips of chocolate - I love that! It is amazing the little things that make my day.

So, the kids are having a hay day in the pool that we set up in our backyard. The only thing is that I have to lock the upstairs windows at night because I have caught little DD trying to climb out one of them onto the roof to go skinny dippin. SHE IS ONLY 2!! What is wrong with this child. She knows that she can't reach the lock on the door so she tries "sneaking" out the 2nd floor window. Man, I have got my hands full. The twins are/were/will be nothing compared to this little she-devil! What is the strongest metal I can buy? Does Lowe's carry it? and is there a minimum length of chain that you have to give a child when you are shackling her to your house FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE?

No, really... I know that although she is going to give me just as many laughs as she does heart attacks... but really - let's face it - heart attacks kill people! So, maybe I should just plan the wedding to be in a padded room or at least have a medical staff on hand with epi drips ready to insert into my veins. Because if we have it on the beach I know one little girl who will want a white bathing suit with a skirt, flippers and snorkeling equipment as her accessories. The boys - they will be happy with some beach balls and some sand castle makin' toys.