What is a Girl to Do???

There are just some people in this world who make you want change all your locks, pull down your shades and live like a hermit.

Not only that, but my particular person of crumudgeony splendor should not be allowed to open his mouth in public. Why? His view of women sucks! POINT BLANK.

One song comes to mind: SHOUT!
(and it goes a little something like this...)

Oh, he makes me want to SHOUT
Throw my hands up and SHOUT
Kick him in the balls and SHOUT
Wring his little neck and SHOUT

Waiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiait a minute..... Nope... he makes me want to SHOUT.

OK, there is another, darker song by Poe that comes to mind.... Angry Johnny
(for those who know the song, I am not going to kill the guy.... he just makes me look at the possibility of it in a different light!)

Here's the bottom line... if you don't know what you are talking about - keep your mouth shut. You only come off as more ignorant than you already seemed to me. Secondly, don't go toutin' your "women are to be told what to do" and "all females should wait on me" line of crap when in my presence. Get a grip! And no, I won't even be offering you a drink at my place because everyone knows - I'm standing around in an apron to wipe the sweat off your glass, or hand you my chapstick after your finished.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! -

Smokies or Sand in my Panties???

Still haven't decided - although, the mountain/vineyard idea is really growing on me. BUT if I could find a big beach house that had an enclosed access to the beach (where we could drink without risking any guest getting a public intoxication ticket) I would take it.

Am I asking for a drunk-fest? NO - I just know that if we are having this celebration over an hour from everyone's home - then people will probably drink a bit more because they will have planned on staying the night - a.k.a. no driving. And honestly - only the nice drinkers are invited anyway! (Hehehehe!)

Which brings me to the subject of kids.... I know there is this whole movement to explicitly not invite children to a wedding, but honestly - GET OUT! So, I have been brainstorming for ways to make it all work... Here is what I am thinking - around 7 or 8 o'clock we will have some "sitters" take the little ones indoors for movies and a snack - they can all fall asleep while mommies and daddies have a little dancing time/joking time as well. Has anyone else tried this? Pros? Cons? Any other ideas??

OK - I'm Gettin' Married

1. Last night I got razzed by my fiance and pals because I haven't "seemed excited" about getting married. Here's my take: If I am planning a wedding that is over one year, but less than 2 years away - why should I be stressing out and going on and on about it until - oh, say - 3-4 months before the big event? Right now, I am just trying to decide - East Coast summer-ish BEACH wedding or Fall Folliage Blue Ridge mountain scenery wedding.... hmmmm. And all of that depends on "finding the venue". So, today I picked up the wedding planner and a North Carolina magazine that focuses on venues, and all the people you need to pay to have a wedding here in NC. Maybe by the end of this week I will have a date and a place picked out - but, honestly I want to go visit my top 3-5 - so it will probably be a month before I make my decision. I just don't want my family and friends to show up to the wedding saying - "Jeesh - can we just get this over with so she will stop talking about it!"
   
   So - to alleviate all the wonder around this event - I'm working on it. Don't fret, Johnathan and I will send out an announcement of the date well in advance for all those who will need to make travel arrangements. We are casual fun people - so this isn't going to be a formal affair, but rather a sassy celebration.
   
   Therefore:
   1. Women will be lookin' good
   2. Men are expected to shower and smell delicious
   3. There will be no lavas or going regimental until after Johnathan and I have tossed the bouquet and garter.
   **For our family and friends who don't know these are serious rugby traditions - and as accepting Johnathan as my partner, I know that these little rugby traditions will be carried out at our reception - I will only set the time frame as to when gentlemen may turn into ruggers. All those who do not play rugby, you will get many laughs - just don't starch your collars too much... I am giving fair notice, well in advance!

Yeth

"Yeth", "Bohy", "No, You Go Way" - All of these are DD's favorite phrases. She has had me and Johnathan crracking up. Yeth - is of course - Yes. Bohy - well that is how she says good-bye - She really enunciates the B and then makes and opera mouth OHY. So, watching her say it is as funny as hearing it. No, you go aaway is her favorite game to play with me while in a shopping cart - any shopping cart, anywhere. She pushes off of me, be it with her feet or with her hands - and then just giggles with glee as she is free-sailing the aisle (okay, about a whopping 3')

'Von and Zeph are both still "didon" to her. So, I can only figure out who hit her or wouldn't let her play with them by which boy comes up to me saying, "I gave her a kiss/hug!" - Yep that is one of the things our household HAS to do when they hurt someone else. You know, as well as I do, that all they would have to do is stay where they are and point fingers at each other when I ask who-did-it and I would be utterly baffled because Dazjah has no idea that there is a boy in our house who isn't named "didon" or daddy. I am sure it won't be too much longer before they get keen on this. Great - I can't wait.

Potty Training - DD is currently trying out for that catergory... however - I must get her clued into one tiny fact - IT MEANS GOING PEE ON THE TOILET MORE THAN THE ONE TIME BEFORE BED! We do the "Oh, no... You peed in your big girl panties... We have to go change them so you don't stink" routine about 6-7 times before she gets it right.... YAY!!! then she takes a nap. Obviously her little brain stores that in the volatile memory cache - thus - IT IS GONE and we have to go through it all again after she wakes up..... WHEN DOES THE LAUNDRY STOP SPINNING??? Diapers are going to be the cheaper alternative soon! But, I love her... so we'll do it again tomorrow. Wish me luck and send me some shock therapy undies... just kidding! (no I'm not - YES I AM!)